"Honestly?" Hadyn asked, as he scrubbing his hair as he sighed. "Yeah. When I wasn't scared to death of him, I day dreamed about it. But...the best, best vengeance I can have on him? Is just to be happy. It is the only thing..."

He shrugged a little, before he leaned forward and sat his food down. Turning on the couch he looked at the wall behind Elisha as he started to piece it all together, somewhat.

"I wanted to be a doctor, because some part of me wanted to protect kids from what happened to me. But...then something horrible happens and I don't know how to deal with it. Everything wells up inside, and I feel every anxious memory bubble up. It takes...just everything out of me." Not that that explained things. "So, I don't talk about it. Because pretending it didn't happen just somehow makes it easier. Or just...I don't even know, Elisha. I don't have the words for it."

He even laughed a little, looking down. "I'm not well," he said finally. "Even...with knowing all I know, I'm not well. And I don't know if you want to deal with that, and maybe I've just been too scared to trust....to trust that you wouldn't just leave. And I'm sorry, that I couldn't. I'm sorry that I wasn't, that I can't. I just...need someone with a lot of patience."

Turning he looked at a picture, when he was a teen. Before his weight started to fall away. "Heh, you know. I think need to get help, honestly."