Silence fell between them, which was strange in and of itself. They were not a pair known for quiet, or gentle moments. Truly, though, Gael suspected Carlos was far more capable of it than he'd oft touted of himself. Gael knew this because of what he knew in himself, that there were times he could be almost loving in the company of his lovers. Gentle, sweet and kind. He'd most often shared that side of himself with Ollie, but things had changed now.
He also knew that despite Carlos' words, that it wasn't fair to take love given and not return it. He'd been the victim of that with Patrick, had he not? That had been the force that hardened his heart and mind and kept the world at arms length. Was he the sort of person, now, that did not mind taking and giving nothing back?
By the time he moved again, he wasn't sure if Carlos had drifted off, but his high was gone. It had been replaced with something else, something as equally unfulfilling as he gently pushed himself away and up. Looking down at Carlos, he stared at the other man's face for a long while, wishing there was some power in him that he could wield as a weapon against the man. Something that let the other know how unworthy of this 'love' he was...
Something that could stop him from hurting such a beautiful soul.
That single thought had him rolling his eyes a little at himself, as he swung his legs off the edge of the bed and glanced at his open door and then the clock. Hours had slipped by, and despite the lateness of the day...Gael did not feel the usual anxiousness that Sarah's impending arrival meant. He didn't know why, but Gael did suspect it had to do with the man sleeping on his bed behind him. He had, after all, slept in relative peace for the first time in so long.
It was enough that he glanced back at Carlos, and looking over his face once again before he scrubbed his own. Heh. How long had it been since he last shaved, he wondered. Or had anything of substance to eat? Reaching out behind him, he pulled a throw across the bed, and gently draped it over Carlos before he stood and moved to close the bedroom door. Well, whatever this new normal was...He didn't think he was going to start understanding it right now.
At the very least, he thought, he could shower. And probably shave. Definitely shave.
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He also knew that despite Carlos' words, that it wasn't fair to take love given and not return it. He'd been the victim of that with Patrick, had he not? That had been the force that hardened his heart and mind and kept the world at arms length. Was he the sort of person, now, that did not mind taking and giving nothing back?
By the time he moved again, he wasn't sure if Carlos had drifted off, but his high was gone. It had been replaced with something else, something as equally unfulfilling as he gently pushed himself away and up. Looking down at Carlos, he stared at the other man's face for a long while, wishing there was some power in him that he could wield as a weapon against the man. Something that let the other know how unworthy of this 'love' he was...
Something that could stop him from hurting such a beautiful soul.
That single thought had him rolling his eyes a little at himself, as he swung his legs off the edge of the bed and glanced at his open door and then the clock. Hours had slipped by, and despite the lateness of the day...Gael did not feel the usual anxiousness that Sarah's impending arrival meant. He didn't know why, but Gael did suspect it had to do with the man sleeping on his bed behind him. He had, after all, slept in relative peace for the first time in so long.
It was enough that he glanced back at Carlos, and looking over his face once again before he scrubbed his own. Heh. How long had it been since he last shaved, he wondered. Or had anything of substance to eat? Reaching out behind him, he pulled a throw across the bed, and gently draped it over Carlos before he stood and moved to close the bedroom door. Well, whatever this new normal was...He didn't think he was going to start understanding it right now.
At the very least, he thought, he could shower. And probably shave. Definitely shave.