Carlos had spent the years of his early twenties building himself up - into someone strong, clearly so, and people didn't usually seek him out for gentleness. Not for sex and not in relationships, at any rate, and he'd long since grown used to being controlled in all aspects of his life and controlled and more than a little rough in the bedroom. The last time he'd been gentle or sweet or kind with a lover? He'd been seventeen. It had made the world unravel.
That love, such that it had been, had smashed into nothing soon after. Michel had been slightly older, but still not prepared for his younger boyfriend to make him the center of his world in the wake of losing everything else. He'd pushed Carlos away in the way most likely to make a wounded teenage boy back off - with cruel words and a sharp rejection - and that as much as what Felipe had done...was enough for Carlos to begin to close certain parts of himself off. The shield he built between himself and others had only thickened over time, forming a firm, confident exterior over an unsure and increasingly cynical heart.
He woke after Gael had draped the blanket over him and after he'd slipped out of the room, and he woke not from any particular sound or movement - the last several weeks had rendered his usual light sleep into something deeper this time. Instead it was just the sensation of being alone when he'd fallen asleep wrapped around someone else, and he sat up in bed, pushing his hands through his hair. It must be late, he thought, from how low the sun was in the sky. Sarah would be back soon, and that thought was enough to have him toss back the blanket and drop his legs over the edge of the mattress to stand up. That was, though, when the door opened, and Gael stepped back in - damp and in a towel, and somehow looking a little more like the man he'd seen before Patrick had returned.
It was almost enough to make a man believe those words did have magic, Carlos thought as he leaned back on his hands. "You waking up before me has to be a first," he said, his voice still a little rough from sleep as he smiled crookedly. "Hi."
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That love, such that it had been, had smashed into nothing soon after. Michel had been slightly older, but still not prepared for his younger boyfriend to make him the center of his world in the wake of losing everything else. He'd pushed Carlos away in the way most likely to make a wounded teenage boy back off - with cruel words and a sharp rejection - and that as much as what Felipe had done...was enough for Carlos to begin to close certain parts of himself off. The shield he built between himself and others had only thickened over time, forming a firm, confident exterior over an unsure and increasingly cynical heart.
He woke after Gael had draped the blanket over him and after he'd slipped out of the room, and he woke not from any particular sound or movement - the last several weeks had rendered his usual light sleep into something deeper this time. Instead it was just the sensation of being alone when he'd fallen asleep wrapped around someone else, and he sat up in bed, pushing his hands through his hair. It must be late, he thought, from how low the sun was in the sky. Sarah would be back soon, and that thought was enough to have him toss back the blanket and drop his legs over the edge of the mattress to stand up. That was, though, when the door opened, and Gael stepped back in - damp and in a towel, and somehow looking a little more like the man he'd seen before Patrick had returned.
It was almost enough to make a man believe those words did have magic, Carlos thought as he leaned back on his hands. "You waking up before me has to be a first," he said, his voice still a little rough from sleep as he smiled crookedly. "Hi."