[Elisha & Hadyn] Don't say goodbye, say goodnight

[unmaskedheart]

The years hadn't always been kind, but they were good enough. It started a while ago, he guessed, the swollen ankles and feet. He always chalked it up to just getting older. It came with the shortness of breath, and he felt light headed from time to time. He figured it was all just...getting older. And nothing ever came up during his physicals.

So he kept doing what he always did. He ran every morning, two miles, as he listened to NPR streaming on his phone. He came home, showered, kissed Elisha good morning and they shared breakfast. After coffee, and a few hard to deny suggestions of staying home...Hadyn would leave for the hospital. He had given up Emergency medicine, and just ran the pediatrics department at Laurie. It gave him more '9 to 5' hours, and let him enjoy his new found empty home, sharing it with Elisha.

But today was different. Today something was wrong. Hadyn made it half a mile into his run before he started gasping for air. His head felt as if it were spinning, and he limped his way home. It took him five minutes to get his front door open, and he stumbled into the house. He reached up to his chest, wincing and groaning.

"Elisha," he called out, hearing the man in the kitchen. "Elisha!" The next thing he knew, his legs and body seemed to give out.

Comments

[artificialpalette]

It was less practicality and more unnecessary frugality - but that was an argument they'd had throughout the twins' teenage year. It certainly wasn't something they were going to get in now.

He also wasn't going to get into the fact that his optimism...was mostly on the surface.

"You should do that resting I told the kids you were going to do," he said gently. "It won't be long until our interrogators are back. And...your brother. He's on a plane back from L.A. It's going to be busy the rest of the day."

[unmaskedheart]

"I'm scared, Elisha." Hadyn said softly, even though he knew it was rational to feel that way. He knew the science, the medically sound thought and the outcomes. He knew that life would change and that they would change. Now every second was going to be precious because...it could be the last. "I haven't been...scared like this in so...long." He felt his body shaking from it, the emotion of it. And for all his knowing, for all his understanding that grief and fear was normal... he didn't know if he could face it.

Turning, he leaned into Elisha and wrapped his arms around his husband. He needed Elisha in a way, he realised, he hadn't needed him in a long time. He needed him to not let him give up, and he felt guilty for that. For putting that burden on the man he loved.

After a while, he stepped back, and let Elisha help him to the bed again. He felt helpless and weak, but like much of his day- he rationally understood why. It didn't mean he liked it. But he slept after a while, one hand clinging to Elisha as if he needed that security in order to allow himself to rest.

[artificialpalette]

"I know." He was terrified. When - eventually - he did go home, the night would be spent maintaining the façade of optimism for the children, for Hadyn's brother, and for Greg when Greg emerged.

And he knew he had to keep it up for Hadyn, too. This was the closest he'd seen his husband to giving up in...in years now. It'd been a long time since he'd had to be strong this way.

"Get some sleep," he said. "I'll be here."

Some time later, when he heard the hushed sound of his children's voices outside, he looked over at Hadyn; he hadn't stirred and there, was, he thought, no reason to wake him for this.

He closed the door silently behind him as he stepped outside to speak to their family.