wickerpark | Family Matters

Most everyone was sleeping, or pretending to sleep still. Ollie wasn't, though, and nor was Ty for that matter. They'd been up before the sun rose, talking the events of last night over. Ollie was done, and Ty knew it. And he could even really blame Ollie for feeling that way- though he'd certainly not helped himself last night.

Either way, it had mostly been settled that Ollie was going to fly back to California, and spend the rest of the holidays with Ellie and his parents. Ty would probably be flying into L.A. instead of San Diego, and trying hard not to feel like he hated the holidays.

"Hey," Ty said, pushing the door open and leaning against the door jamb. Despite the years he'd spent in the house, he reflected, he'd never been in Elisha's Studio. He'd seen Hadyn brave the door a time or two, usually just to coax Elisha back out into the open. "I was....hoping we could talk. Before everyone else wakes up."

Elisha raised his brows a little bit before he waved Ty inside. He wasn't psychic, but he could guess what it was about. Usually the tension between he and Oliver could be disguised as bantering - if extremely sharp bantering - but by the end of last night, after Debbie went to bed, it had turned a little nasty.

He'd already heard about it from Hadyn, of course.

"Come on in," he said as he recovered the canvas he'd been about to start on. "What's up?"

Nasty was one word for it. Ty hadn't even been there for the whole of it. He'd been on the phone talking to Ellie about how her day at school was. She was pretty excited about getting a load of presents when they got back in town, too. Ollie's mom had even talked for a while, about the plans for Christmas, and how it was a shame they weren't here for Hanukkah, which a bit funny. He was the only Jewish member of the family.

Closing the door, he moved into the room and took a deep breath. Slowly he slipped his fingers through his hair and looked at the floor and then Elisha. "I've never...asked about why you didn't like Ollie, after all the years. I never asked. I guess I just hoped you'd get over it, eventually. But, uh...that's clearly not happening."

He'd wondered for a while when this conversation was going to happen, Elisha thought. And no matter what Hadyn and Ty - and probably Ollie - thought, he didn't set to antagonize his son-in-law anymore. It was something of a habit now, he supposed, not helped by the fact that Ollie Byrd gave as good as he got.

"Oliver and I don't exactly mesh," he said after a moment. "Hadyn already talked to me about it. I'll cut it out for the rest of the holidays."

"Doesn't really matter if you do or not, he's already bought a ticket home." Ty replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Whatever," he softly, not even sure what he could say to 'I'll behave myself'.

"Can I borrow the car to get him to the airport, or should I phone a taxi?" He said, not yet reaching for the door handle.

Part of him wasn't even surprised, the part of him that was always pushing with Ollie anyway. That didn't mean Ty didn't get a look for the eyeroll. He was his father; he could see it even if he didn't actually do it.

"Of course you can borrow the car," he said, and then hesitated as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Would it even help to apologize?"

"I'm pretty sure the only thing that will help is going to involve putting a few thousand miles between him and you." Ty replied with some annoyance. "Why, anyway, why do you have to do it in the first place. You could explain that to me. Because, at the rate this is going, I'd rather be back in Iran."

Not that, strictly speaking, that wasn't possibly a true statement in general. However, it was particularly accurate in moments like this, Ty thought. Moments he had never had to deal with in the almost ten years he'd spent in the service.

They both knew damn well, Elisha thought, that Ty'd rather be back in Iran most of the time; Hadyn would never understand it. It was the same way he would have rather been back in Somalia for a good chunk of his twenties and thirties. And still had occasional wistful thoughts in that direction.

He just looked at Ty for a moment before he shook his head. "Oliver walks into a room and expects to charm everyone in it," he said. "And that rubs me the wrong way." Which wasn't the entire thing, but was how it had started.

War was infectious, in its own way. There were plenty of people that didn't want to go back, though. For them the whole experience was a nightmare that haunted them daily. At times Ollie faced such nightmares too.

"And you don't? Hadyn doesn't?" Ty asked, looking at Elisha skeptically. "Sorry if I fail to understand how one personality trait makes him....worse than you or Hadyn."

"And the people you don't get along with are all uniformly terrible people, I suppose," Elisha said before he raised a hand. "I'm not saying he's a bad person, Tyler. I'm not even saying I particularly dislike him. We just don't really get along. We clash. And it doesn't help," he added, "that he doesn't even pretend to put an effort into the holidays for your great aunt. I don't care that he's not Jewish, frankly, but Debbie isn't going to make it to Passover. This is it."

"No, dad, but a vast majority of them pointed a gun at me at some point, and the rest aren't married to my son. So at least we can keep the family peace around a dinner table." Ty barked back sharply, his jaw tightening as he stood with his hands on his hips.

"You don't particularly dislike him." He went on, laughing at the absurdity of such a statement. "Dad...." His said, his tone changing. It was as if he was back in the Navy, staring down an Army Infantry man who'd tried to do something smart....only for it to end up being extremely stupid. "At this point, I'm pretty sure the only thing you can call it is dislike. Because it doesn't matter what Ollie does. You'll bitch and moan about it. You've done since the start. You know....back when he did, at least, try." Not a lot, not like Hadyn. But back then they'd been on leave, and the war had been going full swing.

"I'm done." He said after a short pause. "After this....I'm done. I didn't spend nine years fighting a war to come home to this. I don't have the patience for it not any more. I don't know what he ever did to make you so...doesn't even matter, because I'm not going to deal with it."

Elisha's own stance sharpened, because no matter how long it had been - you didn't forget the look of a Navy boy who thought he was better than the infantry. It was particularly harsh, he thought, coming from your own son.

It was what made his laugh so hard and brittle. "You don't have the patience for it?" He said. "Right. Let me know when you actually had an ounce of fucking patience for any of us, Uriah. Because I sure as hell don't remember a time when you did."

"Right, because everything that was ever wrong with this family was always my fault!" Ty threw his hands up at that, rolling his eyes finally. "I forget until I get back here. The four of you would have been a tight, loving family unit if I wasn't around. Right. Maybe I should just go back and leave the rest of you to it, then."

Not that it was a rational argument, even he knew that. Understood his moods enough to know when it was him...and when it was bi-polar talking.

"Sorry...to ruin the holidays for you with my lack of patience. I always forget I'm the one you don't talk about." With that, Ty turned to open the door, scoffing.

"Well, then obviously you should run back to California with Oliver," Elisha snapped. "Back to your perfect family and your fucking flawless in-laws with no fucking problems."

His breath exploded out of him and he drew it back in again, something that he usually used to rein himself back in. But even now he couldn't always control his own moods. He was, after all, the one who'd done this to both Ty and Sarah.

"Go, if that's what you want," he said. "I've never been able to stop you anyway."

"You never really tried, either." Ty snapped, letting go of the handle to look back at Elisha. "Just say it. For fucking once, can you explain what the fuck it is that you've got a problem with. What do you have to lose, anyway? Afraid I'm not going to come back? Because I'm pretty sure I am that's going to happen anyway at this rate."

"You couldn't wait to get as far away from us as you could," Elisha said. "I spent ten years explaining to your father why. Which I could, because I did the same goddamn thing. But the thing I can't explain is why you never wanted to come back again. I can't even fucking explain it to myself. You still can't bother letting us in anymore Tyler, and if you think I'm just making shit up to win a fight, why don't you tell me the last important goddamn thing in your life I was allowed to be a part of? Because honestly, I can't remember."

"I went to California because that was where Oliver was, no great conspiracy, okay!" He said, throwing his arms out wide. "And I'm sorry you weren't there for when Ellie was born, but hold on- yeah, neither was I. I'm sorry you weren't there for every impulsive, brash thing I've ever done, I will try to plan those better to call you first."

He heard a down opening into the hallway, and footsteps. It was probably Sarah, if he was honest, but knowing that didn't seem to stop him from plowing on.

"There haven't exactly been a lot of important things going on, for the record. And I'm fucking sorry that I didn't want to write home every day I was in Iran telling you how I almost died, or I watched as someone else died. I figured neither of you really needed to hear that, and I didn't really have fuck all else to talk about."

And what the fuck, Elisha wondered, had Oliver Byrd ever given up for Tyler? It wouldn't do any good to say it, but even so, it was on the tip of his tongue when something else burst out instead.

"I hope to hell that Ellie doesn't decide she wants to enlist," he snapped, "because I hate to fucking break it to you, Tyler, but occasionally we parents like to fucking know our children are still alive even if they have fuck all to tell us."

"What do you want out of me?! I can't fucking undo it, and I can't apologize for something...I just, what do you want? You want three phone calls a day, telling every little thing in my life that you aren't interested in? Or you just want a call once a week that says I'm alive? Huh? Because frankly I don't think you actually give a fuck what goes on." He shouted, only for the door to wing open suddenly and Hadyn to push into the room.

Shutting the door door behind him he had a sharp, disapproving look for both of the men in the room. "What the hell is wrong with the two of you?" He asked, in a stern, but significantly hushed voice compared to their own. "The whole house can hear you."

Edited 2014-11-08 23:16 (UTC)

"And I don't think you do, either. Or do you think life ends after you hit sixty?" Elisha managed to get out before Hadyn opened the door, and his mouth thinned into a line. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, then, it's a Kagan family holiday, isn't it?" He said. "We can't get through one without someone screaming at someone else."

"I never said life ended when you turn 60!" Ty snapped from around Hadyn, moving to step around his father as the man held up his hands in an effort to silence father and son. "You want to know why I don't call more? This! This is why I don't come home or call. All I hear when I do is 'you should have...'"

"Stop it!" Hadyn finally shouted over both of them. "For the love of God, do either of you hear yourselves?" He asked, looking from one to the other. "Tyler, your father just wants to feel like we're still a part of your life. We both do."

"Yeah well, part of my life is Oliver Byrd, and he doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with that." Ty snapped, glaring at Elisha.

Elisha cast his eyes up towards the ceiling. "Let's not kid ourselves," he said. "If I was falling all over Oliver, you'd find another reason. You've been edging away from us since you were thirteen. You stopped wanting me in your life, Tyler," he said. "And I don't really believe you've ever started wanting me back again."

"Elisha, don't..." Hadyn started, looking back at Elisha.

"No, no it's alright. Because as much as he says that, we all know he'd find it easier to just not deal with me at all. And he's felt that way a long time." Ty snapped back.

"No, that is not true..." Hadyn started, feeling as if the two of them were far too much alike for their own good.

"Dad, just...no. You two used to hide outside to talk, and you always thought no one could hear. But, heh, ironically, when you open the bath window you can hear it all. I seem to recall a few conversations about how much easier your lives would be if I weren't there."

Elisha stared at Ty for a moment, his lips tightening. "I'd be lying if I said I'd never said that," he said in a quieter tone. Of course, he'd at least thought the same thing with Sarah at one point, and even with Izak. He wasn't, maybe, a natural parent. Even if it'd been his idea.

"But our lives would have been worse without you, too, Ty. We love you."

"Ty," Hadyn started, feeling entirely guilty and ashamed for something he couldn't change or even begin to apologize for. Except that he'd never meant those words to be heard by any of their children.

"Just, don't. I just...I'm tired of doing this, okay. I'm tired of the guilt trips, and the arguing. And yeah, it would be nice if someone didn't act like Oliver kidnapped me and never let me go home."

Elisha rubbed his forehead and shook his head when Hadyn looked at him. "There's nothing I can say," he said, as much to Hadyn as Ty.

Nothing, at least, that wouldn't just keep spiraling them into worse.

"Yeah, pretty much the same as always." Ty said, finally snatching the door open and slamming it shut behind him.

Hadyn just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning to look at Elisha. "There are times...I..." Just didn't know how to deal with Ty. Sarah, even at her worst, was not the hurricane that Tyler could be. Nor was Elisha- who just simmered and stewed until he broke a brush on a canvas.

"Are you okay?"

Elisha flopped into a chair and threw his hands up. "I don't know," he said. "I just...I feel like that would have happened eventually no matter what. Even if Ollie and I got along like gangbusters, that was going to happen eventually."

Well, that was probably true. Regardless of what Hadyn wanted to believe, Ty was a simmering pot of....whatever it was that was buried so very deep inside.

"Maybe," Hadyn said as he moved closer to Elisha and sat next to him. "But...maybe we haven't done enough on our part either." It didn't seem fair to blame themselves for being left behind, but...they were parents. "He hasn't needed us for a long time, it was almost like he never...really needed us at all."

Which was the problem, he supposed. A parent just wanted to be important to his kid. "Do you remember when he was about ten, and....he was skateboarding, I think, and fell. Just...busted himself up pretty bad. Only, he didn't go home or even a friends. He walked, bleeding, down to the corner store and tried to buy all the bandages he'd need by himself. If Alan Goldstein hadn't called you, I don't think we'd ever have found out about it."

Elisha laughed a little. "Sometimes it's more like he would have preferred to raise himself," he said, slumping down in his chair. "Sarah needs us. Shit, Izak even needs us sometimes. But Ty can't stand needing anyone."

He picked up his cold coffee. He sort of wished it was whiskey, but it was too early for that. "Especially not me, apparently."

"He needs us, Elisha." Hadyn said, leaning in closer to Elisha. "He just needs us in a different way. He...doesn't know how to ask. He's so much like you, Elisha. You might as well have been his own parent for all he got from me."

He took one of Elisha's hands in his, squeezing it gently. "If....you let him leave like this, you'll regret it. And I love both of you too much to watch that."

"He's not going to listen to me," Elisha said. "Come on. He listened to me more when he was fifteen, when no one listens to their damn parents." But despite that, Hadyn was probably right, and he sighed. "After he gets back from the airport. Oliver's jumping ship, I don't know if we'd reached full decibel for that part or not."

"No...But...Oliver mentioned it when he came in search of coffee." Hadyn said, sighing a little. Oliver was, he figured, always going to be the one that actually stole Ty away from Elisha. Maybe, at the heart of it, that was why Elisha couldn't get over it.

"They make each other happy," he said after a moment, "maybe that is the only thing we can ask for. For better or worse, we're a family."

Elisha slanted Hadyn a look and shrugged. "I guess so," he said. There was something of a tone of defeat in his voice, something that hadn't happened very often in the years he and Hadyn had been together.

"I'll try talking to Ty when he gets back," he said, standing up. "I can't guarantee he's going to bother listening to me."

"So make him listen, and try not yelling at him." Hadyn suggested with a smile. "Have you eaten yet? Because...Micah is daring to cook in your kitchen, with the help of Izak. and...assuming that the canvas hasn't seduced you yet, it would be nice for you to join us."

He smiled at Elisha, before leaning in and kissing the man he loved. "Just...remember that he loves you, darling. No matter what it might seem like."

Easier said than done, Elisha thought, but he just forced a half smile on his face. "It didn't have time," he said dryly. "I was interrupted pretty quickly. What are we having? And Micah does realize that our kitchen doesn't stay kosher very long, right?"

He didn't respond to the last part of Hadyn's statement, though, because he didn't doubt that Ty loved them both. He just doubted that he wanted them as anything other than figures on the edges of his real life.

"Oh....I don't know. Hashbrowns, something...else. I don't really remember the various things he mentioned, but Izak assures me it taste well enough." He said, with a shrug. "And I assume he knows it won't stay kosher. He does live with Izak." He didn't say it, but it was perhaps ironic that the two members of the family who tried hardest to remain kosher...was Ty and Elisha.

"Come on, then." He said as he stood. "Lets try to have some holiday cheer. We could go look at the lights tonight." Something.

Family Matters

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