the emotional support meme

[wickerparkmain]

Everyone has bad days. Everyone needs a little support, someone to listen to their woes or just silently hug them and not mind tears or emotional ranting. What reason is life crushing you today? How will you cope with it?


directions

1. Comment with your character, series, preferences, etc in the subject.
2. Roll a number between 1-20 with the RGN for a prompt.
3. Reply to other comments and play the scenario out!
4. Bring tissues.


prompts

1. LOST SOMETHING You lost something important: this could be a person, a family heirloom, or your job… something big or small, it still affects you personally. Can you find it, or get a new job, or find some way to fill the gap in your chest?

2. LITTLE THINGS Little things have been building up: bills, annoying neighbors, your cat is hiding from you, coworkers being jerks. They’re not huge by themselves, but can be when put together. Can you solve them one by one? Or all at once?

3. DEATH Someone near you recently died. It could be someone you loved, someone you hated, a friend or enemy but death is never easy to get over, from funeral arrangements to regrets. Having someone there for you helps, though.

4. BAD DAY It’s just been a bad day. Someone yelled at you, a car splashed mud all over you, you woke up late, and your milk went sour. Can someone cheer you up?

5. LONELY One of the hardest things to get over is being lonely. It either takes a lot of personal strength or the strength of yourself and someone else combined. Can you see that you are not alone, or will someone be able to show you?

6. DECISION MAKING You need help making a big decision: something important, something that could change your life and the life of others around you.

7. INJURY Anything from tripping to getting into a car accident is never fun, and sometimes, you need some help getting over your injuries, but that is what friends and family helping you out and giving some tender loving care are for.

8. DISAPPOINTMENT You were hoping to get or achieve something, but didn’t, and now you have to live with the disappointment. Can someone help you see the bright side of things and get back up to fight again?

9. FIGHT You had a huge fight with someone involving fists, words, throwing things, or anything else a fight might entail, and are left emotionally distraught. Can someone comfort you, and maybe bandage up your wounds too?

10. EXHAUSTION You have either not been sleeping well, have a lot on your mind, too many responsibilities… and it is all weighing down on you. Do you have someone to vent at or someone who can distract you or convince you to relax?

11. JUDGMENT Someone criticized you, and it wasn’t the healthy kind either. Those always hurt the worst, but surely someone will convince you it’s not true.

12. MISSING SOMEONE There isn’t much you can do about someone being on a long trip, moving away, or wanting an ex back, but maybe it would help if someone was there to miss and remember them along with you.

13. FORGOTTEN You have been feeling neglected and forgotten lately, for no reason at all, or maybe there is one. Is there someone to stop this feeling?

14. BROKE UP Ending a relationship is never easy. Sometimes it’s for a good reason, other times it’s a mistake, but it happens anyways. You still need someone around to help you adjust to being single again, maybe convince you to celebrate.

15. JOB DEMANDS No matter what industry you are in, sometimes, it’s sucks. Audits? Mountains of paperwork? Insane hours? It can make you really hate a job and need a little support to muscle through it until you can find a better one.

16. DEPRESSION Then there is just… everything and you get stuck into a rut you can’t get out of and it’s a deeper issue. Can someone convince you to get professional help or get onto a regiment that will work for you?

17. FAMILY They can be the biggest support system a person can have, or sometimes they are the cause of all the problems of the world. Can you work the issues out, or will you need support from an outside source?

18. ILLNESS From a cold to an illness that has kept you in the hospital for months, it’s nice to know that people are thinking of you and wishing the best through bowls of soup, flowers, get-well cards, and more. Best of all are those who come to visit.

19. SELF-ESTEEM Not everyone is as confident as they wish to be, or as the person next to them. Sometimes, life just gives you blow after blow. Is there someone near by who can help lift your spirits and renew your fighting spirit?

20. WILD CARD Is there another scenario you had in mind? Was there something we missed? Roll again or make up your own adventure!

Comments

[fistandbone]

"Well, you are terribly good at sex," Carlos said as he leaned into the kiss until Gael pulled away - and then he watched Gael move around the room. He leaned back on his hands, tilting his head to one side with an amused and appreciative look. Gael made it easy to slip back into their usual, he thought, though he knew it wasn't going to be quite the same. "You could start with artist's model, unless Sarah broke tradition and didn't tease someone I was sleeping with with quotes from an awful old movie." Honestly, he wasn't sure what the appeal of Titanic was.

It was possible he was too gay for it.

"I think we could probably try to find something to talk about," he said, though, as he stood up and smoothed the t-shirt that was a bit rumpled from sleep. It wasn't as though they never talked, but it tended to be a few minutes at a time, when they were sleepy and sated and about to drop into sleep. "But if you'd rather stare soulfully into my eyes, who am I to stop you?"

[memorylost]

"Cheri, she's decided you need owe us a portrait of me like, and I quote, 'one of your french girls.' Which, I was reminded, had something to do with a certain old movie I've been made to watch countless times." He said, reaching out to take Carlos' hand pulling him toward the door.

"And good, I've never been good at quiet. Even if I do so long getting lost in those green eyes. They are rather striking, really. Not quite like mine. Not when compared to, say, my father's. Leon's eyes were striking...bright." He said, leading Carlos out of the apartment. He managed to keep up the small talk as they walked, dipping his head off to the side as they discussed the weather, the mood of the deck, and random things that popped up.

And when they arrived of Val's Pizza, they managed to even agree on a pizza without much effort before he smirked as they sat down. "Shall we play a game? 20 questions, with a few rules. You have to answer truthfully, unless you use one of three passes that you have. You can only ask one question at a time, no multiple questions in one. Simple rules, yes? You can even go first."

[fistandbone]

"Mm. Yes, she used that line of Greg Matthews too, and you can imagine how that went over. At least you speak French." And was far less likely to try to kill Sarah Kagan with his brain, really, than Greg. "But thankfully, are not a girl. I wouldn't have been nearly as interested if you had been."

Though probably a Gaelle Shaw would have been very pretty, along the lines of his sister. "Green eyes are a mutation, I hear. But my mother has the same ones." Very light, like peridots, those less immediately striking with Bethany's blond hair and pale skin than with the coloring Carlos had inherited from his Mexican side. "I like yours, though," he said as he followed Gael down the steps. "Blue and a little green." Gold around the iris - not that Carlos had spent time staring into Gael's eyes, and learning the color.

They'd picked up a bottle of red wine on the way - though, probably, Carlos thought, Gael didn't really need more alcohol in him right now - and he raised a brow as he poured chianti into two glasses. "I'm familiar with it." Usually played it with equally awkward dates, though it had been a year or two. Was this an awkward date, he wondered with a bit of a smile, or just Gael feeling a little guilty that for all the time they'd spent together, they didn't know each other entirely well.

He took a sip of his wine and tilted his head to one side. It was quiet, as Gael had promised. "When did you decide you wanted to act?"

[memorylost]

"Oh, he starts easy." Gael said, laughing softly as he lifted the glass of wine to his lips and sipped it. "Well...I was four, and my father helped me learn all the lines to the Princess Bride, and even played Princess Buttercup for me. I was terrible, but the potential was there." He grinned at that, before leaning back against the booth he was in.

"After that- there was singing and dancing. I took a little ballet when I was younger, but quickly moved on to modern dance. I've been in love with it ever since." He said, glancing to the side as someone who looked vaguely familiar sat at a near by table with another person and each gave the pair a curious look.

"Who was your first love?" He asked, knowing it was perhaps, a bit early for the hard questions....but Gael didn't see a need to pull a punch either.

[fistandbone]

Carlos laughed a bit at the picture of Gael as Wesley and picked up a slice of the bread the waitress had added to the picture. He saw the pair, too, and half-recognized them - they were from either his Suit or Gael's - before he blinked over at Gael.

"That's a hardball right away," he commented. There was a little flicker, maybe a slight darkening of his expression for a moment before he ripped the bread in half and dipped it in oil. "I had a few harmless teenage crushes, but first one I did something about was Michel Durand. I was sixteen, he was seventeen. It lasted about a year." It lasted about two weeks after Felipe Sanchez found out, strictly speaking. "He got most of my firsts, though," he added with a slight smile and a wicked glance towards the pair at the next table, "I wasn't confident enough to tie him to a bed. Michel definitely would have found that too intense."

He'd found Carlos too intense in general, especially after he'd been disowned - though Michel had spent a couple days trying to convince him to switch to Hearts.

He waited until Gael took another sip of wine before he took his turn. He was fairly sure he knew who Gael's first love was, and fairly sure he didn't want to bring Patrick into the conversation. "What makes you the happiest?" He asked instead. It was, in it's way, just as much a hard question as who Carlos had loved first.

[memorylost]

"What can I say? I don't believe in pulling punches." Gael mused, before he listened to Carlos' answer carefully. Whoever this Michel was, he was an idiot. For one- being tied to a bed was delicious, and two? Well, Carlos was just a complete package, wrapped up in a soft spoken body.

"Michel sounds like an idiot, if you were to ask me." Gael said, glancing over the the gawkers again. Three months ago, he'd probably have reached across the table and pulled Carlos into a lewd, steamy kiss before openly smirking at the others in a sort of smug confidence. Today, at least, he thought better of it. Who cared, really?

Looking back at Carlos he smirked, before looking thoughtful as he propped his chin on the palm of his hand. "What makes me happiest?" He repeated, before thinking about it for a long moment. "I don't know, really. But the things that come to mind involve singing and dancing....at Mooseknuckle. Being the center of everyone's attention. I wish I had an excuse for being an attention whore, but I was never denied love, affection or attention at home. I just always want it, crave it. Sort of like a drug. After that? Mm." He paused a moment, thinking on it before a softer smile crossed his features. "Well, laying in bed with someone. No sex, no 'hurry up and get it over with'; just...laying there. Close, their head against my chest- or mine against theirs. Listening to their heartbeat as they drift off to sleep."

Well, one question down 19 to go. Which meant of course that he had to ask another....which he wasn't sure where to go with it. Well, when it doubt- "Favorite sex position? I mean, we've never really gotten into it, all things considered."

[fistandbone]

"Michel was...well, a teenager, so probably a little bit of an idiot." He'd moved towards the Heart outpost not long after they'd broken up, which had both enabled Carlos to put him out of his mind - but also, when he thought of him, allowed him to idealize Michel Durand. He never had to deal with him other than as a rather pretty teenage boy.

He ignored the gawkers, instead leaning his chin on his hand as he listened to Gael with a bit of a smile on his face. Well, there was no doubt that Gael loved attention, almost as much as Carlos usually shunned it. He, personally, could never be any kind of performer. He sang well enough to pull it off, honestly, and in his teenaged years had played guitar decently. But the idea of people watching like that was an anathema to him; his challenges drew spectators occasionally, and that was plenty.

"I like that part too," he said, though. "Just lying there together." Not just with Gael, though it was certainly part of why he was in love with him now. With his other lovers, too, it had always been a gentle counterpoint to the sharp roughness of the sex he tended to prefer.

The waitress arrived with their pizza moments after Gael asked his question and Carlos could tell, from the way she bobbled it slightly before setting it on the stand, that she'd heard it perfectly well. He decided to spare her the answer and waited until she'd walked away, picking up a slice of pizza and sprinkling it with cheese and peppers before he said anything. "Most of the time it depends on who I'm with, and what they like," he said as blandly as if they were talking about the weather. "But I have to admit I like bending a lover over and taking him from behind like that." Something he'd done with Gael...well, more than once, including one time in his shower he had pretty fond memories of.

As for his question, he considered it as he took a bite of pizza. He had more innocuous questions he wanted to ask, but Gael had started them down a theme and he might as well stick with it. Besides, possibly would scare the gawkers away. "Favorite sex toy?" He asked with a raised brow. "I mean, we've used a large selection, so I don't think I could predict here."

[memorylost]

Gael was pretty certain that scandalous behavior was a deeply seeded part of his reputation. His father even probably knew about it and in order to avoid what was likely to be an awkward conversation- said nothing about it. Still he smirked at the waitress as she blushed a bright red and walked away, and looked back at Carlos.

He had to admit, he rather enjoyed being pushed down against the desk in the man's rooms. It was...well, thrilling. Not to mention how much deeper and harder the man could thrust. Of course, he was digressing now. Even if his question made him pause and sit up a little more as he had to think about it.

"Just...one?" He asked, chewing on his bottom lip a little as he thought it over, foot tapping on the floor as he bounced his head. "Er, mm....I....would have to go with the rope. You can do so much with it. Tying someone up, Tying them down, tying up the cock or breast, I mean the thing literally has no end to what you can do. Except...except actually fucking someone with it, but if you tried hard enough you could probably even figure that one out."

Gael took a piece of pizza, putting it on his own plate before adding a few peppers. He was tending to his food when he asked his next question, "what's your favorite food?"

[fistandbone]

"That almost sounds like a challenge, darling," Carlos said as he poured himself more wine and took a sip. Somehow he'd expected Gael to choose one of the more elaborate toys, but there was something to be said for a classic - and personally, he enjoyed wrapping rope around Gael almost as much as he liked fucking him. It had been, he remembered, the first thing he'd picked up in Gael's old bedroom.

"Cake," he said, though, in response to Gael's question. His lips twitched a little. "Chocolate cake, hopefully with chocolate frosting or ganache. Both, if you really, really like me. Hadyn tried making me one for my eighteenth birthday, but it didn't go well, so he just has one delivered from a bakery every year now." His mother made a great devil's food, he thought, though he'd rarely gotten it for a birthday. He and Victoria's were at the same time, and Vicki liked lemon.

[memorylost]

"Maybe it is one." Gael said, smirking as he took a bite of his pizza before reaching out to pick up his glass of wine. "I mean, I know people don't expect it of me, but I do like to keep things simple sometimes. And you honestly can't go wrong with rope, even when your partner is new to it."

Sipping as his wine, he did consider the idea that Carlos did like cake. And he even chuckled softly at the idea of Hadyn trying to cook. The man was infamous in his dislike of cooking let alone his ability to murder anything food related in a kitchen. "Well, I have to admit I am a little disappointed that I'm not your favorite food, but cake. Mm, cake is good too. Even if it tries very hard to ruin my figure."

[fistandbone]

"Well, we haven't tried covering you in ganache yet. You might beat cake out yet." He didn't think Gael had to worry about his figure right now, though. He was thin from three months of crashing and burning, thin enough that he looked a little too delicate for leading man material, even if he was working. Though, Carlos thought, he supposed auditions were coming up for the winter productions.

He blinked a little at Gael's expectant look and then laughed as he realized he had answered Gael's question but not asked one. He set his wine glass down. "Okay, time for the real talk. American football or the real thing?"

[memorylost]

"Darling....is there anyone in their right mind that enjoys American football? No, no...I was raised on real Footie, as you say, and see no reason to ever try any other sort. I am an avid Chelsea fan, like my father before me. Like his before him, and his before him. Really, I think the Shaw family line has been a solid Chelsea fan since the day the club was founded." Not to say his grandmother, apparently, hadn't tried very hard to introduce her twins for the French teams. But the French Ligue was just not...well it wasn't the Premiere league, and that was all there was to it.

"Since you've brought it up- I assume that you are a fan of the real thing. Therefore I must ask- which team? Tell me it isn't Manchester United- if it is, this date will be over before you can blink." And it was, he thought, a date. He hadn't actually gone on one of those in years, but here he was- one a date. With a man he rather liked quite a bit. What on earth was wrong with him, he had to wonder.

[fistandbone]

"I've heard there are one or two." But Carlos had been raised on real football. His father had been a Club America fan, an allegiance Carlos had abandoned for FC Barcelona years before. That was, really, Elisha Kagan's fault. He'd spent more time with the King of Clubs, who had been an avid fan himself - though not of Barça. Carlos had fallen that way when Elisha had taken the three of them to an exhibition match versus Real Madrid when they were still kids.

He raised a bit a brow at the news that even Gael was calling this a date. It was what it was, and he wasn't going to say a word - a word that might have Gael backpedaling. "Well, we might be safe, darling. I'm definitely not a Man United fan. But also not a Chelsea fan, I'm afraid. Barça." He smirked a little. "Maybe that's even worse?"

[memorylost]

"Oh, you poor soul. No, Barca is not as terrible as Man U, being in another league and all, but still- it is an evil club." He said, easily dismissing how many people hated Chelsea on simple principle, all because they just happened to have the best players. If you could afford them, why shouldn't a club have the best? That was his question.

Gael ate a bit more of his pizza, asking a few more questions, and answering just as many. They covered mundane things, really- coffee or tea. Gael liked coffee, it was true, but like any true child of an Englishman he had a particular love of tea that was not over come by many things. Carlos opted to not ask if he was a morning person, saying that the evidence he'd collected over the course of months suggested Gael was very much not a morning person. He did ask what Gael perferred to wear to bed- even though he figured he knew the answer. Which was simple- nothing. It wasn't just because he usually fell asleep after sex, either. It was merely that it was the most comfortable way to sleep. By the time they were done going back and forth they'd finished the bottle and the pizza- with five questions each left.

"I'm a wine person, honestly," he said, finishing the question Carlos had asked him about beer or wine. "More of a white, sort too. I like it sweet versus dry...fruity. But that could just be be, darling. My sister, she's a red sort of girl. My father too- both of them. They love the red wines." He smiled though, thinking fondly of his parents as he spun the empty wine glass slowly on the table.

"Alright- favorite thing to do on a date?" He asked, looking at Carlos curiously as he smiled gently at the man. He wasn't drunk, Gael drank too much in general to be drunk off a few glasses of wine, but he was certainly a little tipsy.

[fistandbone]

"Love, please. What you mean is a sexy club." Which was entirely true. Still, he didn't have vehement opinions about Chelsea's dominance - mostly because he didn't have much of an opinion one way or the other about the English Premiere league.

He relaxed more into himself as they got towards the bottom of the bottle, and while Carlos Sanchez would never be remotely extroverted, his laughter and smiles became easier as the other patrons came and went around them.

"I like wine alright," he said, though Gael hadn't asked. It was nice, he thought, hearing Gael talk about his family. He'd not seen Noelle in years, since he'd left home, and he only knew Daniel from the night he'd spent by Gael in Carlos' apartment. "Better than beer, but really I prefer a cocktail over either one." He leaned back as Gael asked his question, smiling back at him. "Well, I don't go on many. We live in the land of hookups, darling." Hookups that usually then turned into something serious without the players noticing - or fizzled out entirely. "I like to go dancing, though. Either clubbing or...you know Carnivale? I like to go there."

He tilted his head, considering a little as the waitress took away the empty tray their pizza had been on. "If you got a tattoo tonight," he asked finally, "what would it be?" He had several himself. Ink didn't cover him, but there were enough to make it clear that Carlos enjoyed the art and didn't mind the pain.

[memorylost]

"Mm, dancing. I like dancing. Did you know I used to take ballet, when I was so much younger. My father, Leon, he thought if I was going to insist on learning to dance it should at least start there- once I was old enough I could decide what I really wanted. So I did ballet, until I was about twelve. And then I decided, much to my father's horror, to learn how to street dance. He recovered, but it took a bit of a bottle of wine." Gael said with a laugh as he slowly pulled himself out of the booth and held out a hand for Carlos to take. "But....Maybe we can make some time for dancing. We should, really. I can even wear a dress for you to feel up." He winked at that, and it was probably hard to tell if he was joking or not because of it.

Once Carlos was on his feet, though, Gael pulled him along and out of the pizzeria as he pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture. "This, actually. I've been considering it, really. I just don't know where I would put it. I don't really want it on my arms- I don't know why, it just seems so normal. Maybe on my hip....or lower stomach. Back. Don't know- that's the only reason I haven't gotten one."

As Carlos looked the art over, Gael considered his next question, before smirking and looking over at the other man. "Which do you really prefer... my hair body, or all of it waxed off?"

[fistandbone]

He laughed as they linked hands. "Mm, sounds about like my parents when Ali announced she intended to be an actress." Really, Felipe's reaction. Felipe liked to forget that he'd married a girl a more...artistic family. He believed everyone ought to have serious jobs, at least in their family. "I wasn't there, so I don't know if they broke out the tequila or not."

He arched a brow, though, as he stood. "I believe I've managed to feel you up when you're wearing pants," he murmured in Gael's ear as he let Gael pull him along, and once they were out in the cooling summer night he looked at the image Gael had pulled up. It was very much him, he thought. "Well, hip will hurt the most, but the design would look good there. My artist told me she never recommends first tattoos on the back," he added. "Because she figures if you've decided to get inked, you probably want to be able to see it."

He looked up, though, as Gael's question, and his lips curved into a slow smile. "Waxed," he said as he handed the phone back. "It makes you feel just like silk." It was early yet to take Gael back to the apartment he shared with Sarah - or back to Carlos' own. Besides, he knew what would likely happen once they were back behind closed doors - and while he never exactly regretted having Gael naked, he also didn't want to let go of this. They were actually talking to each other.

Even if a lot of what they talked about was sex. "What's the most....unusual," he decided, "place you've fucked?"

[memorylost]

"Yeah, well...my fathers were not overly thrilled, and probably hoped it was just a phase." But all in all, they supported it. And then just Daniel... Leon, Gael thought sadly, would have kept insisting on being at every opening night. He missed him, he thought, most often on those nights. It might not have been his first choice for Gael, but Leon was always there for him.

"Oh, yeah...I don't think I'd like it on my back any way. Maybe on my side, but..." He turned a little, lifting up his shirt and lowering the waist of his jeans a little to show the smooth skin that wrapped itself over his pelvic bone. "Could go right there, lower abs, pelvic area. Mm, I just don't know. Someday I'll decide." He said, letting go of the shirt as they walked on.

He did smirk at Carlos' answer though. It was nice when he was clean of area. He realized why the ladies did it in very short order, and it was a bit addicting now. "Yes, well...the lotion helps with that. I mean, you wouldn't like it if my skin was super dry I imagine." He said, smirking before he raised a brow at Carlos.

"Most...unusual?" He repeated, looking up as he thought it over. "I mean, I've had sex on the stage, and um...in the hallway. Unusual though?" He wasn't sure what counted as unusual exactly, given his company. But, well... he could think on it. "Well, was in college probably? I was out with my girlfriend and our friends. Drinking, dancing, that sort of thing. Anyway, I convinced her to let me finger her while we were dancing to see if we would get caught. It wasn't, like, full on sex...but a couple of people saw it, kept going on their way or watched. She jerked me off in my pants, too. Wasn't the most partical, but eh...it was fun to test the boundaries."

He smirked at the memory, bouncing his brows once as he looked at Carlos. Most people would consider Gael a bit of a manwhore, but he didn't much care. He enjoyed sex, what was really so wrong about that.

"What is something you've never tried, but always wanted to?" Since they were back on the subject of sex and all.

[fistandbone]

He would have watched, Carlos thought as they wandered slowly down the street, towards the Green. Of course, he probably would have been a little jealous, too. "On the stage?" He asked, though. "Aren't there nails?" Then again, he thought with a smirk, that probably wouldn't bother Gael much in the moment.

As for something he'd never tried, well...there wasn't much, really. He wasn't shy about making demands in his sex life, and several of his partners - not just Gael - had been game for most of his creative ideas. "Mm, kinbaku, I suppose. Japanese rope bondage," he clarified, though if anyone else in the Deck was going to be familiar, it would probably be Gael. "I haven't been with someone patient enough for it."

And Gael might not either, he thought. Still, it interested him.

They were getting to the end of twenty questions, and Carlos looked up at the stars as he considered. Perhaps the fact that they were getting towards the end, really, was what made him go more serious. Or maybe half a bottle of wine had loosened his hold on himself. "What do you like most about me? One thing."

[memorylost]

"Oh yeah, of course there are nails. But, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not overly concerned with pain." He said, smirking as they walked toward the Green. He wasn't sure when it happened, but he found himself holding on to Carlos' hand again, slowly pulling it over his shoulders as they walked. "Kinbaku?" He asked, raising a brow before he nodded slowly. He had never personally looked into it, but then his partners were not overly worldly. At least before Carlos came along. "I'd be down for that. Like I said...I like ropes best, because they are so endlessly versatile."

Leaning in to Carlos a little, he listened to the question before he raised a brow a little and glanced up at Carlos as they walked. "One thing?" He repeated, before looking away as they walked and he thought about it. "One thing...." It wasn't easy, and certainly a subject thing. But one thing... "Your hands," he said finally. "They are big, bigger than mine at least. Strong, gentle but rough when needed. They....make me feel calm." Which was something he appreciated more and more lately, when he could get sleep because Carlos' arms were wrapped about him tightly.

Well, Carlos had one question left. And he had two...he might as well make them count, right? Tapping his fingers against Carlos' hand he thought about it carefully as they walked, before he frowned a little and regarded Carlos curiously. "Why do you love me?" He asked, looking away after he'd asked, suddenly unsure if he really wanted to know that answer.

[fistandbone]

Carlos studied his own hand for a moment where it lay against Gael's shoulder. "My hands," he echoed. They were larger than Gael's, it was true. Larger and rougher from the amount of time he spent with weapons in them. And he could be rough with them...he supposed he must be able to be gentle, too. He smiled a bit. He wouldn't have ever said he had the power to calm Gael but...even he knew and accepted that he was the one seeing Gael the most as he dealt with this storm, and maybe this was part of why.

But then Gael asked his own question, and Carlos' smile slipped a little. It was not an easy one to answer, he thought. "Why do I love you?" he said. "There's a lot of things. You're smart and kind, even if you try not to advertise that, exactly. You're damned charming, and you make me...not take everything in the world so seriously, I guess. You care, even thought you try not to sometimes, I think. I think you'd at least maim anyone who tried to hurt your friends or your family." He'd tried to protect Sarah and Ollie by keeping his distance - at least that was what Carlos thought - and as soon as he knew Carlos loved him, he'd tried to do the same. "I'm not really sure how I expected not to fall in love with you," he murmured, though he tried to keep the tone light, at least.

He was down to his very last question, he thought as they walked on one of the winding paths through the Green. He should make it count. "Do you believe in love?" He asked. "For yourself, I mean. Pretty sure you at least believe in it for other people."

[memorylost]

That was interesting, the reason why Carlos fell in love with him. It wasn't unfair, either. Or unrealistic. He supposed that under normal circumstances, maybe he'd have fallen too. If he didn't stand in his own way, that was. But despite the toying with the idea, Gael wasn't sure he knew where to start with falling in love. How did one simply fall in love?

"Oh, I don't know." He said, as he'd often said tonight. He stared ahead, listening to their feet crunching against the gravel on the pathway. Did he believe in love? No. Maybe... He wasn't sure. "You're right, I do think other people can love. I'm happy for them, most of the time. Jealous....sometimes. I don't believe love is easy for me, though. It isn't just falling back and letting go or whatever it is those stupid romance movies go on about."

It was a mostly straight forward answer. "I just don't know if I can. Sometimes I want to believe it can happen, other times I don't. Maybe I'm just too jaded for it." He paused then, looking up at Carlos. "Would you be patient enough....to let me try?"

[fistandbone]

Falling back and letting go was part of it, Carlos thought, but not all of it. Not even remotely. "It's certainly not like any of those movies, no," he said after a moment, glancing over to where Gael still had his head close to his shoulder. He suspected that anyone who looked at them would think they were a couple very much in love.

It just went to show how different reality was from appearances, though Carlos was very much in love.

"You have good reasons to be jaded about it," he said. If Hadyn had to tell him to stop letting what happened seven years before color his assumptions about what people could feel about him, he could only imagine what dealing with someone like Patrick would do. He was under no illusions that Felipe was a kind man, and he recognized that the final and irrevocable rejection by his parents, followed almost immediately by the breakup with his first love, had killed hope in him at some level. But his pain wasn't the same as Gael's.

And he wasn't sure he could really believe that Gael would ever love him, or that the lack there was in Gael. He gave Gael a searching look for a moment. "I can try," he said. "I'd like to try to be patient enough, love."

[memorylost]

"My father doesn't try to convince me to not give up on love, but he certainly hints that it isn't all bad. Of course," he said, with a rye sort of smile on his lips as he leaned into Carlos a little more to speak softly. "He also hasn't tried to find love since Leon died."

Not that Gael blamed him. And while he was aware that he saw Leon through the rose tint glasses of childhood? It didn't matter. Leon and Daniel had been perfect together- in their quiet, soft ways. Leon was secretly a bit of a romantic, Daniel was fond of the endless quirks Leon seemed to posses.

"But....if you want, I think....I could try." He said, sniffing a little as he ran a hand through his hair. "Otherwise, I don't know....I'd probably buy more drugs, and eventually waste away. I'll probably still try to buy more drugs, anyway. The cravings aren't terrible, but my will to say no is." He could probably quit cold turkey...with effort. With someone's help. Last time he and Sarah could involved in this sort of stuff had been college, and they hadn't been taking every day or even every week. Just around parties, really.

"I know...we're done with the game, but.....why don't you even talk about your parents?"

[fistandbone]

Carlos arm tightened around his Gael's shoulder a little. "You know I'm not the only one who cares about you, right?" he murmured. Gael might not have as many friends as one would expect from someone as extroverted as he was - but he had at least as many close friends as Carlos did, people who would be devastated if he killed himself with the drugs.

He gave Gael a bit of a pained look and then looked away, across the Green at the stage where the summer Shakespeare was always performed. "I don't have parents," he said after a moment, glancing back at Gael. "They disowned me when they figured out I was gay, when I was seventeen. That's when I moved to the Castle." Which had been one of the few options available to him, at that age, he thought. If he hadn't been Ty's best friend - he honestly wasn't sure what would have happened to him.